Under the Seat

This story is a few weeks late. This story has everything. It is a comical, love-filled mystery with a happy ending. (Grammarly wants me to change “happy ending” to “happy conclusion”. Does anyone say “happy conclusion”? {Construction language}, Grammarly. This is my story.)


Last October, while grocery shopping, I found the perfect Christmas gift for Elaine. The second I saw it on the clearance rack I knew I had to get it for my lovely wife. It was divine intervention. God put me there at that minute. It was perfect.


I purchased the gift and hid it under the back seat of my pickup truck. (I mentioned it was October, two months before Christmas.)


I was so excited. I couldn’t contain my excitement. I had to tell someone I found “the gift”. I chose Elaine. No, I didn’t tell Elaine exactly what the gift was, but I did tell her I found the perfect gift, and I was excited to see her open it on Christmas morning.


Elaine and I have reached the point in our lives when gift-giving is a little bit difficult. If we want something, we usually buy it ourselves. This past November, I asked Elaine-


Me: Is there was anything you want for Christmas? Elaine: You told me last month you had bought the perfect gift. Me: Yes, I did tell you that, however, I was thinking about a couple of other things. Elaine: I want a screen door. Me: A screen door is not a gift, call a big box and get a screen door. Elaine: You asked what I want; I want a screen door. Me: I am not getting you a (construction language) screen door for Christmas. (I might have been agitated.) screen doors are not gifts! Elaine: I would really enjoy a screen door. Me: Buy yourself a (construction language) screen door.


I needed to change my tactics. I needed to ask the kids what Elaine wanted. There was no possible way she would ask them for a screen door. It was still November, so I had a month to come up with a couple of ideas. It took until noon on Christmas Eve but I did come up with a couple of good ideas myself.