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Under the Seat

This story is a few weeks late. This story has everything. It is a comical, love-filled mystery with a happy ending. (Grammarly wants me to change “happy ending” to “happy conclusion”. Does anyone say “happy conclusion”? {Construction language}, Grammarly. This is my story.)

Last October, while grocery shopping, I found the perfect Christmas gift for Elaine. The second I saw it on the clearance rack I knew I had to get it for my lovely wife. It was divine intervention. God put me there at that minute. It was perfect.

I purchased the gift and hid it under the back seat of my pickup truck. (I mentioned it was October, two months before Christmas.)

I was so excited. I couldn’t contain my excitement. I had to tell someone I found “the gift”. I chose Elaine. No, I didn’t tell Elaine exactly what the gift was, but I did tell her I found the perfect gift, and I was excited to see her open it on Christmas morning.

Elaine and I have reached the point in our lives when gift-giving is a little bit difficult. If we want something, we usually buy it ourselves. This past November, I asked Elaine-

Me: Is there was anything you want for Christmas? Elaine: You told me last month you had bought the perfect gift. Me: Yes, I did tell you that, however, I was thinking about a couple of other things. Elaine: I want a screen door. Me: A screen door is not a gift, call a big box and get a screen door. Elaine: You asked what I want; I want a screen door. Me: I am not getting you a (construction language) screen door for Christmas. (I might have been agitated.) screen doors are not gifts! Elaine: I would really enjoy a screen door. Me: Buy yourself a (construction language) screen door.

I needed to change my tactics. I needed to ask the kids what Elaine wanted. There was no possible way she would ask them for a screen door. It was still November, so I had a month to come up with a couple of ideas. It took until noon on Christmas Eve but I did come up with a couple of good ideas myself.

Christmas morning arrived. Time to open the gifts. I think I scored big, with the kids as well as Elaine.

Everyone seemed happy with my/our gifts. Elaine didn’t mention the screen door she did not get.

A few hours after the wrapping paper was placed in black plastic bags, Elaine said to me, “Which one of the gifts were you so excited to give me? Was it the bracelet?” My heart stopped. Her gift was still under the seat of my truck. I said, “You mean the one still under the seat of my truck?” We laughed.

Some of you are going to ask what the mystery gift was. I watch television in bed at night. Elaine listens to books on tape with a towel on her head to block the light from the TV. The gift was an eyemask with built-in speakers, It may not be a screen door but she loves it.

As for my forgetfulness, I’m thinking of running for President. I'm perfect. Monner 2024!

Keep buying yarn. God Bless.

Our crazy lives!



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