We have had a bug in our house the last couple of weeks. I’m not sure how or who brought it into our house, so I have no one to blame. It might have even been me.
I’ve noticed in our construction office someone has strategically place hand sanitizer
bottles around the office. My employer returned to the office after attending a meeting and proclaimed, “There were nine attendees at this meeting, and seven of them were sick.” He proceeded to spray disinfectant on the papers he was carrying and soon moved to spraying his clothing.
I understand what he was trying to do and don’t fault him for doing it. Personally, I’m more likely to let the kids bring “bugs” home and deal with it. It is entertaining listening to Elaine telling me, “You need to go to the doctor!” I’m evil like that.
Last week Girl Twin came home and announced, “I have Strep throat.”
Me: What makes you think that?
Girl Twin: My throat hurts.
Elaine: Do you have a fever?
Girl Twin: Yes, a whole bunch of the kids at school have Strep Throat AND I have white stripes in my throat.
Me: You looked at your own throat?
Girl Twin: No, Penny did.
Me: Penny, the fifteen year-old throat doctor; let’s check for a fever.
Elaine does this thing while checking for fever. Elaine thinks she can tell if a person has a fever by kissing their forehead. (I think she just wants to kiss the kids on the forehead.) Elaine kissed Girl Twin and said, “She doesn’t have a fever.” I told Girl Twin, “Go get the thermometer.”
Girl Twin didn’t have a fever. Elaine said, “I told you.”
Elaine and Me: Girl Twin, maybe you should stay home from school tomorrow.
Girl Twin: I don’t want to miss my friends, besides, kids don’t stay home with Strep Throat.
Me: Can someone tell me why we’re talking about this?
Boy Twin’s story is a little different.
Boy Twin decided he needed to stay home from school. Boy Twin is a “genius”. He planned his “sick” day to take place on Thursday. That way if something were to happen on the weekend, he would have been “recovered”. Well, I was wise to his “genius”, and told BOTH twins, “You guys have been sick this past week, don’t make any plans. You guys need to stay home and rest up.” Both twins told me they understood and agreed.
Friday afternoon, I received a phone call from Boy Twin.
Boy Twin: Monner, I know we agreed we are staying home this weekend, BUT Larry asked me to the professional hockey game and then spend the night. PLUS, he can take me to baseball practice in the morning.
Me: (Knowing he had me.) Well, you do sound better. I guess you can go, I’ll pick you up after baseball.
Me: Elaine, Boy Twin has a chance to go to the hockey game. I let him go.
Elaine: I thought the twins were staying home this weekend.
Me: Yeah, I did too. But it was a hockey game.
Elaine: Great parenting, Monner.
That should have been the end of the story, but it wasn’t. I went to pick up Boy Twin the next morning after baseball practice. Boy Twin looked confused and asked,
Boy Twin: Why are you here?
Me: I said I would be here after baseball practice.
Boy Twin: You said I could go to the hockey game.
Me: Yes, I did.
Boy Twin: The hockey game is tonight.
Me: Why did you spend the night last night?
Boy Twin: So they could take me to baseball this morning. I told you this.
Me: I think you might have left out a couple of key points.
Boy Twin: No, do you remember telling us that you don’t always listen?
I have said that. I drove away. In the quiet of the car, I started planning, “What am I going to tell Elaine?” I told her, “What can I say, the kid’s a genius.”
The story should end there. But it didn’t. Girl Twin asked, “Some of my friends are bowling Saturday night. You wouldn’t need to hang around town to give me a ride home if I could spend the night at a friend’s house.”
Elaine and I enjoyed a quiet house this weekend.
Our crazy lives!